today

Today I dragged my sorry ass out of bed.

Today I worked like a dawg. I, sadly, had a hand in diagnosing a woman with an acute leukemia. She has children my kids' ages. She is the mom who heads every committee that needs heading. She arrived in the er this morning thinking maybe she had a dvt - a blood clot. I suspect her leg hurt...but it wasn't a clot. It was probably her bone marrow, so full of cells, that it caused her pain. She probably left her kids at school in the morning and headed over to the doctor - assuming she'd be in and out and while she waited, maybe she wondered what she'd make for supper. She was probably mentally checking her list for the day: phone here, email this, drop off that, stop there. She never suspected that in an hour's time she'd be told she probably had leukemia.

Her whole life is in a tailspin tonight and I had a part in it. I can't go say hello and ask her how she's doing. I can't help her anymore than I already have. Today - I spoke to the hematologist on the phone and he asked my opinion on what I was seeing under the microscope...I gave him my professional opinion. I wish I didn't have to. I wish I never knew. I wish she would have been able to go home to cook mac and cheese, hug and kiss her children and rush off to a meeting.

Today I met the coolest woman. As soon as I saw her arrive for bloodwork, I thought, wow. She's pulled together. Something unique about her - just very polished and lovely not to mention gorgeous for sixty years old. As I took her blood we struck up a conversation and she mentioned she'd been travelling recently and was heading out again next week. When I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd been to Mexico. My heart sank momentarily - oh, she's a 'resort' wife. Darn, I'd had such high expectations. I asked her where she was going to next and when she said Egypt - my faith in her was restored. I gushed (yes, I gushed) - oh...I've wanted to go to Egypt. I plan to get there someday. When I inquired about a tour she chuckled lightly. No, I'm going on a dig.

o-m-g. She is immediately my hero. And so I gushed again - Oh! I've always wanted to go on a dig. So here's my girlhood dream: I spent years wanting to be an archaeologist until finally I realized I probably couldn't have a family and be an archaeologist. In university I ended up with the best of both worlds. My research project attempted to amplify mitochondrial DNA from 30 000 year old bones from Siberia. I did have some success and the techniques I was using at the time were very new but now are used extensively in every forensic case. There was no master's program at the time so I carried on with life and had my family. Just a few years ago they finally got the money for the master's study and when I heard it, my heart fell a bit - but I don't spend much time regretting.

In the course of our conversation I explained my previous research and she talked about how the people she worked with would love to use DNA techniques but the Egyptians - rightfully so - were wary of destroying entire mummies. I nearly dropped when she said maybe I would consider going on a dig.

I don't know if its feasible, if its just a pipe dream - but wow. Just - wow - at the possibility. I told her to please stop by after the dig and tell me about it...and I sincerely hope she does because I aspire to be her someday! and I'm only half joking.

Today I came home and played with M. She told me secrets on her bed and introduced me to all her stuffed animals. She talked nonstop and told me about everything she'd done today at the babysitter's. She said she'd played tag. 'Do you know tag Mom? Its weally fun. I'll show you how we do it,' as though she had invented the game with her friends. She described the Dora kitchen set the babysitter had and she begged me to buy it for her. She glowed she was so excited about life.

I fell asleep on the bed and when she finally stopped yelling "Get up SLEEPYHEAD!" she covered me with her blankie and left me for five minutes. I was tucked in with all her stuffies and covered with her ragged blanket and it felt wonderful.

Today K made supper and kissed me on my neck as I sat at the counter watching him. I told him I didn't think I could explain how much I loved him. He smiled at me.

I listened to him patiently tell E how to ask politely for people to pledge them in a spell-a-thon. Every time he would then take the phone away and repeat everything she said. Every phone call was the same conversation and K was nearly pulling out his hair by the time she was done...but I love that he did it.

Today was a good day.