whatever happened to regular?

It would seem, at least according to internet message boards (you know, the most reliable place to gather statistical evidence) that we are lacking 'regular' people; specifically regular children.

I realize we are all mothers and immensely proud of our offspring but it would seem that everyone has a child that is either on the autism spectrum and suffers learning difficulties or is gifted, exceptional, advanced or their children are 'beautiful!!' - post a picture on the appropriate message board and there will be many responses claiming exactly that. Really - what person is going to say - yeah, your kids are pretty regular looking. Now part of me writing this is tongue in cheek at the secret life of internet message boards - but another part of me wonders if this isn't actually an accurate snippet of real life.

I seldom talk about my children on the internet boards and post pictures of them even less. Various reasons are behind it I suppose. I have four children and if I talk about one, I'm consumed with a bit of mother guilt and feel I have to mention all of them and then by the time I've done that I feel like I've monopolized the message board with my little darlings - so I tend to just not mention it. Doesn't mean my children don't do exceptional things...I just don't mention it.

I also don't talk about them because, well, there's not too much to say. I have been blessed with children who do not have learning disabilities nor social disorders. I can understand mothers needing to talk about these things; garnering advice, worrying out loud, having their fears comforted by someone who's btdt. My children have pretty normal stuff going on in their lives. Its not much to mention.

I don't talk about them because they are smart kids - but they are not exceptional. They don't have brilliant minds, genius minds that need to be nurtured by trips to the museum or symphony sessions. They are active and bright and have as much fun at a museum as the next kid - but they have strengths and weaknesses. They might play an instrument very well - but they are not little musical geniuses. They are at the top of their classes because they are bright but also because we are consciencious parents who make sure their homework gets done, their spelling list gets practiced, their math minutes get timed. They are strong contributing members of a sports team - but they are not the captain and there will be no scholarships waiting for them when they graduate.

I don't post photos of them because I think they are beautiful - and they really are, of course - but I don't need people to tell me that. I think they are beautiful because I recognize my family in their eyes and hair and smiles. I think they are beautiful because I've watched them grow from chubby cheeked baby to confident kid. I think they are beautiful because I watch them sleeping every night and hug them when they are sad and see how kind they can be to each other. And I don't post photos because unless we are all going off to someone's confirmation at church, they are rarely clean and combed and coordinated. I would then have to post photos of them at their most honest and I don't need anyone lying about how sweet they look when really, I know they need to be cleaned up a little.

I have regular kids and there are probably many more like them out there belonging to internet mothers everywhere...but they are not represented well. I think maybe we should celebrate the regular kids. Rock on my regular kids!