Beautiful Water Feature

not so much...

Well, we never do anything the easy way around here. Having never constructed a pond before and having spent two years asking advice only to have people say things like 'well, umm, I guess...' - we decided to plunge ahead and create our pond.

We knew the basic shape, we asked the pond experts at the pond accessories store, we bought our pump and liner (no inexpensive feat!) and we started digging. We, of course, don't just want a pond - no, we want a waterfall! (and by 'we' I mean 'me')

After much fanagaling (is that a real word?) my dh decided the only way to make the waterfall work would be to build a rock wall. I had more than a bit of hesitation at letting him approach that project by himself because we have very different ideas of what looks all right - but I bravely walked into the house and let him work alone.

He installed the pump and fountain, he filled the pond and he called me outside yesterday to proudly show off his pond.

It was ugly. And yes, I said so. We have a very open relationship - I tell him the absolute truth and he tells me I'm being mean. I am honest to a fault, quite literally.

So there we stood on the porch, looking down at the ugly pond. Black liner in full view, muddy water, a three tiered fountain (meant for some city hall not a small house pond) spewing water three feet into the air. The waterfall was...well...not pretty. The mortar completely obscurred most of the rocks and water was seeping through them instead of over them. Adding to the beauty - a few dead grasshoppers floating bloated in the bottom half of the pond. (Was this too much to ask for the middle of the bald headed prairie??) Ah, a beautiful water feature.

And we fought.
'Its ugly! I hate seeing all that pond liner! I can't live with it!'
'Well, fine! I'll take the whole thing out.'
'No - I didn't say that - but we need to fix this thing - it looks bad.'
'Well how am I supposed to fix that?'
'I don't know - didn't you talk to the pond guys?'
'They told me I had to do it this way'
'They told you to use a giant fountain in this small pond?? How do you turn that off?'
'You can't. You have to get into the pond to shut it off'
'what? I have to wade into the pond to shut that monster off?'
'YES!'
'Well - this is a fucking nightmare.'
'You don't have to swear at me. I'm going inside.'
'oh - don't be a baby. I just said it was ugly. Don't take it personally.'
'You just want the most beautiful pond in the area.'
'No - I just want the best pond we can make and I don't think this is it!'
'Well - how do we fix the problem?'
'We need to dig a lower shelf for the rocks. Then the rocks will be partially submerged in water and will hide the liner.'
'Why didn't you say that yesterday?'
'I watched a show on tv last night - it was all about installing a pond and that's what they said to do.'
'YOU COULDN'T HAVE WATCHED THAT SHOW TWO DAYS AGO??'

The arguments continued but on various topics - is the pond level this way or that way and what if we change the head on the fountain and etc, etc.

What we ended up decided was that yes - it wasn't how we wanted it to look - yet. But that we could make it work. We would need to drain the pond and then dig the shelf and cut the extra wood out of the waterfall and build a bigger (and neater looking) rock wall. Then we would remove the wood under the top portion and lay the rocks hanging over the edge. We would also build a couple shelves on the sides by the waterfall so that it would hide the pond liner up to the top. We would consider using the giant fountain when we had a special occasion (and our son J would be the official changer of the fountain heads so that he could wade into the pond) but for everyday we would use the smaller 'mushroom' shaped head so that we could also enjoy the waterfall.

None of this probably makes sense to you nor does it really matter - but suffice it to say that when we get back from holidays we will be working on creating a beautiful water feature instead of half-assed pond nightmare.

We are nothing if not perseverant!