sick of my own company

oh...my...garsh...I'm sick to death of being alone.

My family left me early Friday morning and I not-so-secretly did a happy dance about being all alone this weekend. And don't get me wrong - I normally love being alone. But for whatever reason - this weekend I am so pathetically bored and lonely without the mess of them.

I've scanned lots of websites and taken the dogs for walks and done some baking of comfort food and started reading a book and watched movies on tv but aaahhhhh!!!! Enough already. Come home and put me out of my misery.

They'll be home tomorrow - I suppose I'll survive until then. I predict actually that I will get my groove back around ten minutes before they get home. And within ten minutes of them arriving I'll be wondering what the hell was wrong with me for lamenting their vacation.

There were times in my life that I spent endless hours alone. When I was a child, I wandered the park alone across from where we lived, with only my dog as my companion. As a teenager, when my mother was working - I spent days alone in our home. Even when she was home we tended to exist at polar opposite ends of the house. Then, when I went to university, I lived alone, ate alone, wrote pages and pages in my journal, never phoned anyone, wandered the malls alone, went to movies alone. And it was ok. It was good in fact. I survived quite well. I do like having a couple people - people I really like - around me but just surrounding myself with people for company was definitely not for me.

Apparently though, the past few years have made me a little more used to having a crowd around me.

oh - and for all those interested, I still have heard nothing about that stuff I can't talk about. The place I can't talk about moves slowly on things like this - but I suppose the good news is I also haven't heard that anyone else got word on the stuff I can't talk about. The place I can't talk about is going through some pretty important stuff right now and I suspect the stuff I can't talk about is getting put on the back burner a bit while they get ready for the important stuff.

And - I kicked ass at the interview. I have every reason to be proud of myself even if I don't, uh, get that stuff I can't talk about.