what was I thinking???
A month ago - I decided to write a script for our local Playwright's Festival. That makes it sound so much bigger and more important than it is really - but the concept was my idea. To showcase the writer's in our town and give the actors of our Theatre company a chance to really stretch.
I decided now was the time for me to face a subject close to me. And I wrote a script. Its good. I know it has the potential to be very moving and maybe touch people who need to know they aren't alone. Its important - I believe that.
But what in the hell was I thinking???
I have this monster of a script to learn that frankly - is so emotionally draining I rarely like to run lines. Yet, I get onstage and stammer and pause and think instead of just feeling it and running with it. I am so hampered by my lines that I cannot become the character.
And the approaching showdates are beginning to freak me out.
I think I can do it. I know I can do it. I have to do it. I'm too proud to bail and yet...I would really like to.
posted by spidermama at 8:09 p.m.
3 Comments:
You'll be able to do it.
I know you can. I bet you'll be great!
12:32 a.m.
My spidery friend, I have been having conversations with you in my brain all day today. You already knew I was weird, so I don't think that will surprise you too much. ;)
Most of the conversations followed the thought that it is so much harder to be raw when it hits so close to home (and some silly ramblings about having trouble letting people even read things I have written when I can see their faces while they are so doing).
But you know what? You are a lot more awesome than me ;) and you CAN do it. If you should happen to collapse into the ugly cry afterward, though, you know where we all are!
-the brat
10:36 p.m.
i wish i were there to hold your hand. i wish i were there to learn the lines with you and be on the sidelines for you.
in my heart i am. i hope you know that.
5:19 p.m.
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